Updated 31 March 2021
So the day you’ve been planning and dreaming of has been disrupted thanks to one of the biggest global emergencies ever. Me too! We were due to get married on the 18th of April this year and had to reschedule. It sucks! I’m also in a bit of a unique position in that I work in this industry so have been helping lots of other couples reschedule their weddings too. So I thought I’d put a little post together to help you navigate these uncharted waters, and reassure you that it’s really not as bad as you think it’s going to be. And at the end of all of this, the day you’ve been dreaming of will be even sweeter than you can imagine.
- 1 Look At Your Options
- 2 Contact Your Venue About Rescheduling Your Wedding
- 3 Winter Weddings Are Beautiful
- 4 Thursdays Are The New Friday
- 5 Make A List Of All Your Suppliers
- 6 Set Your Priorities
- 7 Make A Decision
- 8 Grieve For The Day You’re Letting Go
- 9 Sort The Little Things
- 10 Support Your Suppliers
- 11 Do Something On Your Original Date
- 12 Restart The Countdown
Look At Your Options
It’s been one heck of a year, and whilst a vaccine is now in sight, the uncertainty has never been greater. I recently finally managed to get married myself so I know the ordeal couples are going through when it comes to planning a wedding right now. No couple should have to go through what me and my husband did on the run up to our wedding, but similarly, it made it all the more special when we said those vows. Life isn’t waiting for Covid, and there is no guarantee for tomorrow..there never has been. So whilst it is difficult, I can assure you it is worth it. But I know that’s not an option for everyone. Check out my other blog post for some help in considering your options if your wedding is in 2021.
Contact Your Venue About Rescheduling Your Wedding
If your wedding needs to be rescheduled by law or the current policy, it’s fairly likely your venue will have been in touch already. If they haven’t, get in touch with your venue first to find out what way they are handling reschedules. The honest and brutal answer is that weddings have been legally permitted to go ahead since last June, people have been getting married and businesses are now in a position where they have no other choice but to enforce their contracts and policies. It’s awful on both sides of the fence….trust me I’ve been on both!
Tips for talking to your venue about postponing your wedding:
- Be patient with them as they may be working their way through the diary.
- Be honest if the stress of this situation is getting to you; let them know that you want to postpone even if they haven’t offered it.
- Have a list of questions ready to ask if on the phone. Or try to keep all of your questions to one email. Lots of exchanges will make the whole process much slower and painstaking.
- Ask for multiple date options if possible. This will be imperative to making sure that you can keep the rest of your suppliers and minimise the booking fees/deposits you lose.
- Understand that refunds for deposits/booking fees are not as simple as you would like them to be, and for most are not an option unless your wedding has to legally be cancelled. But more than that, they simply aren’t an option for some venues who have had no income for nearly a year. They can’t give you what they simply don’t have. That doesn’t mean they can’t work with you in terms of vouchers, credit notes or a payment plan if you are legally entitled to a refund.
Winter Weddings Are Beautiful
Have a month in mind before you contact your venue or suppliers. They are trying to reschedule lots of weddings so by narrowing it down to one month, they can give you a more reasonable number of dates to pick from.
Be realistic about the month you pick. Months like July, August and September this year and even 2022 were already super busy, even before Coronavirus. Months like November, January and February are more flexible. Venues will have lots more availability in these ‘off peak months.’ Obviously you were due to get married in Spring/Summer, but it’s likely those key dates will have already been booked for next year, so keep that in mind. In the UK and Ireland you’re never guaranteed good weather all year around, so try not to worry about the weather.
Winter weddings are amazing and I’ll be honest, my winter weddings tend to be dryer than my summer weddings this last couple of years. The colours are amazing and the light is stunning. It may get darker earlier but that means it’s earlier to get those stunning golden hour photographs and you can do sparklers long before people are drunk and dangerous with them.
Thursdays Are The New Friday
And Mondays are the new Saturday. Getting a weekend date is going to be really hard, even in 2022, so be open to a weekday wedding. When all of this is over, everyone will be so glad to be together they won’t begrudge taking an extra day off work. And if they do, they probably shouldn’t be at your wedding.
Think of how amazing it will be to get the whole weekend after to celebrate. You can organise a day after party or head away for a mini-moon.
Make A List Of All Your Suppliers
As soon as you get a number of dates from your venue, make an extensive list of all your other suppliers and get in touch with them. You can do it one mass email or individually.
Let them know how you’re feeling, ask what their policy is and let them know the dates you are thinking. Again, try to keep everything in as few emails as possible to make it easier for everyone.
Most suppliers have reached out to all their couples currently affected to let you know what the options are, but don’t be scared to get in touch if we haven’t contacted you and you’re worried.
Set Your Priorities
Try to pick a date that works for most of your suppliers. This will stop you losing money as you won’t lose booking fees/deposits. Not every one of your vendors may be free on the same date though. You may have to prioritise suppliers.
Setting your priorities will depend on your priorities for your day. Maybe your photographer is super important to you, or you can’t imagine getting married without having your chosen wedding singer. It may also depend on financial things like how much you are likely to lose.
There is no right or wrong answer. It comes down to what is best for you.
Make A Decision
When you’ve made a decision let your suppliers know ASAP. Venues and suppliers can not hold dates easily, and you don’t want to have to keep going back and forward.
Grieve For The Day You’re Letting Go
Your wedding won’t be how you planned. Whether it’s a different date, day of the week, season. Things will have changed and it’s ok to be sad about that.
It’s important to keep it in perspective and focus on how much better this is going to feel after all of this, but it’s still ok to acknowledge that this sucks.
You may also feel a huge sense of relief that the decision is made and you can focus on all the other things we all have to deal with right now.
Sort The Little Things
Return anything that won’t fit little humans like flower girls or page boys if you can. I had just ordered our flower girl dresses and shoes so was able to send them back because they were from the high street.
Also don’t forget to contact your dress maker or maybe you’d placed an order for wedding favours. I had literally done this the day before our wedding got postponed. They were able to postpone making my order until our new date.
I then boxed up all the little bits we’d been gathering and put it in the attic until the wedding got closer again. I didn’t want to be looking at all the little bits and pieces that were supposed to be being used right now. But it was great when we got to those final weeks and I had pretty much everything done.
Support Your Suppliers
Please be understanding that your suppliers can only operate within their policies. They have them for a reason, and it’s to protect you as much as them. For many wedding suppliers,the work they carry out for you doesn’t just happen on the date of your wedding and that’s what your booking fee covers.
Do Something On Your Original Date
I know the options for that might be limited but this date has meant something to you both for a long time, it will always mean something so make sure to mark it.
Here are 5 things you could do mark the date you’d planned for your wedding:
- Date night in your sitting room – get dressed up.
- Watch your favourite movie together.
- Zoom party with all your bridal party/family.
- Practice your first dance in the garden under the stars.
- Write a letter to each other to open on your new wedding date.
But also, if the date comes around and you just want to veg out on the sofa watching Netflix and crying into your ice cream that is ok too. On the day of our ‘would be wedding’ it was unbelievably sunny. The most perfect day for a wedding. I couldn’t even look outside, it made me so annoyed. Know that it’s ok to be pissed off.
Restart The Countdown
Don’t lose sight that you will be getting married to the love of your life. It’s not an IF, it’s a WHEN. Restart the countdown, start planning that extra hen or stag part you thoroughly deserve and let the excitement build. I know it can seem weird talking about your wedding right now, but don’t be scared to embrace the distraction. Your wedding will be something for all of your friends and family to look forward to when all of this is over.
From one bride to another, I am sending you so much love during this tough time. If you’re following me on instagram, don’t ever hesitate to reach out. I’m always at the end of a DM. Lx